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Absolutely delightful, surprisingly useful and pleasingly absurd’ – Rachel Parris

Tessa and Stevie are two of the funniest people I know’ – Nish Kumar

A must-read for anyone struggling to be a convincing grown up‘ – Richard Herring

Bloody funny and genuinely informative‘ – Ellie Taylor

Trying to get your life together? Got three dead houseplants, no debit card, and an exploded yoghurt in your bag? Useful, funny and life-affirming, Nobody Panic is an instruction manual for anyone with absolutely no idea what they’re doing.

From the creators of the critically acclaimed podcast comes a series of How To guides for everything from job interviews to leaving a WhatsApp group, from understanding the oven to dealing with your best friend’s new (astoundingly dull) partner. There’s also a poem about taxes.

Comedians and professional panickers Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin are here to help you learn from their many, many mistakes, and remind you that when it comes to life, we’re all in this together – so nobody panic.

Praise for the podcast:

Hilarious and brilliant’ – Grazia

Witty, smart and oh-so-relatable’ – Evening Standard

Jaunty’ – The Times


Stevie and Tessa deliver solid, empathetic and hilarious life advice: a must-read for anyone struggling to be a convincing grown up. Which, let's face it, is all of us.
Richard Herring
This book is VERY funny and charming in addition to being extremely informative. Nobody Panic is funny and wise and warm. Thanks to this book, my plants are thriving, my groupchats are manageable, and I finally know how to use my oven. If you are a human being who worries about anything, or if you want to read an absolutely first rate poem about the UK's tax system, this is the book for you.
Monica Heisey
Stevie and Tessa are two of the least qualified people to advise anyone. Thankfully they are two of the funniest people I know.
Nish Kumar
Funny funny women, I love them
Suzi Ruffell
Hilarious and brilliant writing. I wish Stevie and Tessa were available to hire to sort all my life problems, but instead you can just read this tremendously funny book.
Cariad Lloyd
I'd expected this book to be bloody funny (which it is) but what I hadn't accounted for was it being genuinely informative. Thanks to Stevie and Tessa I now know everything from how to be productive, how to keep a plant alive, how Stevie's dad packs a suitcase and most importantly, why you should always eat the dead frog first.
Ellie Taylor
Absolutely delightful, surprisingly useful and pleasingly absurd
Rachel Parris
Nobody Panic [the podcast] has comforted me and made me cackle, and this brilliant book does exactly the same
Emma Gannon
This book is a rarity: absolutely hilarious and yet, incredibly helpful. I always wanted a Stevie and a Tessa in my handbag to consult when things get tough, and now I have
Pippa Evans
I LOVE THIS BOOK. It's a triumph, I laughed so hard - and I learned, guys, I learned! I'm sorry, a book this hilarious has no right also being this useful. Nobody Panic is the book I needed in my twenties, the book I need now and the book I suspect I'll still need in a decade's time. Like the literary equivalent of the friend who takes you firmly by the shoulders in the toilets and tells you to stop being ridiculous, it's equal parts practical, reassuring and gleefully funny. They should be handing it out for free on the NHS, but until then I suggest buying a copy for every tote bag you own just to be on the safe side.
Lauren Bravo
Normally, ACTUALLY USEFUL & FUNNY do not go together, but this book is the Holy Grail! You will laugh and learn how to put up a shelf - my dream
Aisling Bea