We have updated our Privacy Policy Please take a moment to review it. By continuing to use this site, you agree to the terms of our updated Privacy Policy.

The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy

Paperback / ISBN-13: 9781839972133

Price: £14.99

ON SALE: 21st June 2022

Genre: Health & Personal Development

Select a format:

Embarking on a non-monogamous relationship can be a daunting experience, opening old wounds that cause anxiety, fear and confusion, something Lola Phoenix knows about all too well.

In this all-you-need-to-know guide to exploring non-monogamy, polyamory and open relationships, Lola draws upon their years of experience in giving advice and being non-monogamous to provide guidance for every stage of your journey, helping you to prioritise your mental health and well being along the way.

Beginning with advice on starting out – such as finding your anchor, figuring out your personal reasons for pursuing non-monogamy, challenging your fears and practicing self-compassion – the book proceeds to cover the emotional aspects of non-monogamous relationships, including dealing with jealously and judgement, managing anxiety and maintaining independence, as well as practical elements such as scheduling your time, negotiating boundaries and managing your expectations, all accompanied with activities for further exploration.

Whether you are new to non-monogamy, or have been non-monogamous for years, this insightful and empowering book will provide you with the emotional tools you will need to live a happy non-monogamous life.


A refreshingly honest, comprehensive and realistic guide to navigating non-monogamous relationships of all kinds. Packed with nuance, helpful advice, and self-reflections, this is a gem for new and experienced folk alike, especially those of us living at the intersections of disability, oppression and/or trauma.
Meg-John Barker, author of How to Understand Your Sexuality
Lola Phoenix guides those living in or curious about ethical non-monogamy in their signature no-bullshit, practical guide to polyamory. A refreshing perspective that incorporates self-reflection, personal growth with partners and an emphasis on mental health - healthy caveats when it comes to navigating all relationships, whether polyamorous or not.
Jenny Yuen, author of Polyamorous: Living and Loving More
Lola Phoenix uses their longtime expertise in the field of non-monogamy to guide those at all levels through common questions, issues and feelings. This wide-ranging, welcoming and inclusive guide is perfect for anyone thinking about stepping outside of monogamy, and invites readers to fully explore their own relationships, desires and mental health on an ongoing basis. Phoenix offers practical tips around anxiety that readers will find invaluable.
Rachel Kramer Bussel, author, Sex & Cupcakes: A Juicy Collection of Essays, and editor, The Big Book of Orgasms